Losowe angielskie dowcipy
Eyes closed ->
Q: Why did the Blonde girl stand in front of a mirror with her eyes closed? A: So she could see what she looks like asleep.... [ca³y ->]
This Santa is ticked off! ->
You think you got it bad? All night long I deal with soot in the chimneys, smelly socks, cross dogs, getting shot at, mistaken for a stork, driving all night in the snow - damn near got killed by a 747. Mrs. Clause is pissed off cause I got in so lat... [ca³y ->]
Golfing with Doc... ->
I was playing golf with my doctor friend one day. He ALWAYS hit his drives right down the middle of the fairway. My problem was that I ALWAYS hooked my ball completely off the fairway. I asked him for help, and he offered to give me a physical t... [ca³y ->]
Redneck Driver's License Application ->
Plez compleet this paper, best ya can. Last name: ________________ First name: [_] Billy-Bob [_] Bobby-Sue [_] Billy-Joe [_] Bobby-Jo [_] Billy-Ray [_] Bobby-Ann [_] Billy-Sue [_] Bobby-Lee [_] Billy-Mae [_] Bobby-Ellen [_] Billy-Jack [_]... [ca³y ->]
The nursing home ->
One evening a family brings their frail, elderly mother to a nursing home and leave her, hoping she will be well cared for. The next morning, the nurses bathe her, feed her a tasty breakfast, and set her in a chair at a window overlooking a lovely... [ca³y ->]
Holy Camel ->
A Priest, a Nun, and a Camel are crossing the desert. The camel falls dead. Before I die the father says, "I would like to see a woman naked. So the nun takes off all her clothes. She then says, "before I die i would like to see a man naked. S... [ca³y ->]
Rejected Hallmark Cards ->
1. So your Daughters a hooker and it spoiled your day... look on the bright side, she's a really good lay. 2. My tire was thumping... I thought it was flat... when I looked at the tire... I noticed your cat... Sorry. 3. You had your Bladd... [ca³y ->]
Wheel of disfortune ->
Your momma so stupid that when she goes on wheel of fortune she buys a seven!... [ca³y ->]
Marry You ->
Q: How do you get a blonde to marry you? A: Tell her she's pregnant. Q: What will she ask you? A: "Is it mine?"... [ca³y ->]
George Carlin funnies! ->
George Carlin Ads in Bills: Have you ever noticed that they put advertisements in with your bills now? Like bills aren't distasteful enough, they have to stuff junk mail in there with them. I get back at them. I put garbage in with my check when... [ca³y ->]
Your mom is so fat... ->
Your mom is so fat, that I knew her all my life, and I still haven't seen all of her!... [ca³y ->]
Clinton in History ->
What will Bill Clinton be known for in history? The president after Bush!... [ca³y ->]
HillBilly Memories ->
There was a reporter from the city stuck in a small mountainous town in W.Va. He decided to use the time by getting a good story to submit to his boss. He saw an old man sitting outside a local store and went over to begin the interview. "Sir, I a... [ca³y ->]
Another Castration ->
A man went to his doctor and said, "I want to be castrated." "What?" said the doctor, "surely you don't want that." "Yes," said the man, "that's what I want; I insist." So, the doctor told him to check into the hospital. When he did he was strip... [ca³y ->]
Have you Ever... ->
Have you ever smelled mothballs???? I was just wondering how you would get their little legs open!!!!... [ca³y ->]